Copyright 2008. First Lady Magazine. Do not reproduce without written permission. FLM, PO Box 1233, Mableton, GA 30126 or email us at: FLMezine@gmail.com
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by Tracey Smith
Dallas, Texas, has its share of anointed women. Among those is First Lady and Dr. Lois Evans. Lois grew up in Guyana, South America where she was raised in a Christian home. She remembers being called into ministry at the age of fifteen. In fact, it was through her calling that she met her husband (now, Dr.) Tony Evans. "It’s amazing," she shares because the last thing she wanted to become was a pastor’s wife. Growing up, she had encountered many great women of God who chose to lay aside their own gifts and talents. She was determined that this would not be her life story. The call of God was upon her and she wanted to yield. When Lois met Tony in the early season of their respective appointments, she did not know that not only would she become a senior pastor’s wife, but she would be used by God to help other first ladies. She is Founder of The First Lady Ministry which hosts an annual conference. The conference covers many topics relevant to senior pastors’ wives and provides them with a platform to share openly among their peers. This beneficial ministry for first ladies may not have been possible if Lois had not been obedient to God. I asked how she came to meet Tony. She recalls, “I was living in Guyana when I first met Tony. He was on a missions team working in the country in which I grew up. We had a lot in common as it related to our individual callings. We fell in love.” That was many years ago. They have been married now for 36 years. Lois and Tony have four children. Chrystal is the mother of four and works with the Annual First Lady conference. Priscilla is a published speaker and writes Bible-teaching materials for a major publisher. Anthony, Jr. has recorded two albums and is currently recording his third. And, Jonathan, the youngest, is a newly-wed who earned a position as a professional football player with the San Diego Chargers. Tony and Lois have six grandchildren.I asked, what can you share with mothers, particularly first ladies about raising God-fearing children?
“Don’t put ministry first.” She recommends reading Titus 2:5 for women in general. “Make sure your children know they are YOUR children FIRST, before they are ‘the pastor’s kids.’ She encourages all women to have a meal each day with the family. "The table is required even though the family is busy. Marriage and home should be managed – every aspect. No matter how busy you are, sit down at the table and instill the Word and build your family. People in your congregation need the Lord, but you and your family also need to hear from the Lord even in the busy-ness of ministry." So how do we reach and build up the next generation of women?
(Dr. Lois believes strongly in mentoring. She enjoys mentoring her own daughters and offers this advice for working with the next generation of women.) “Women need to be mentors. We’re all so busy, and we’re leaving our kids alone. The Church needs more mentors. Often, there’s no male in the home [to help raise the children] and the Church should come in to place and provide a large volunteer force. We should be mentoring younger women on basic things like mothering, cooking and working outside the home (how to balance that). We’re missing the porch-sittings where we used to listen to old folks. We need to get back to the table where we discuss God’s Word and discuss life. This gives more value to life. Plant a seed in your children’s lives, train up a child [in the way he/she should go].”Speaking of womanhood, in your opinion, what are the greatest characteristics that any woman should possess?
“She should have courage, be sensible, poised, have wisdom and be graceful. Women should work on themselves and spend daily time in the Word. She should have mentors and be around people that help her.” In addition, she encourages women to, “Make an appointment with God. Hear from God on a regular basis. Where you stand, and how long you stand, depends on where you’ve been sitting (Psalm 91). To stand in life, you’ve got to be in His presence.”Any advice for women who might be single at this time?
“Step into your destiny. Keep walking with the Lord while you are waiting on a change to come. Understand there are seasons of a woman’s life. This may not be your season for marriage, but stay focused on the Lord. Do what God has called you to do. Get off the internet trying to find someone.” While on the subject, I asked Dr. Evans what advice she gives to young men looking for a wife, particularly because she has two grown sons, one of whom was recently married.
She advises, “While you are waiting on your change, become a student of God’s Word. Be a father to the fatherless. Get out of the clubs and off the internet. A man should only marry when he has a need. Don’t marry because of age. Don’t marry someone you don’t love. What he lacks, a woman should have because of his missing rib. Spend time with her and know that you need someone because you have a lack. She needs to be the person who meets that lack. And there should be no competition because of her strengths which may not be your own. That’s why she’s there—to compliment you! Get out of competition and form a partnership. Then there’s no lack in your home.”Once they are married, how do wives keep their husbands form becoming bored with them?
“Repeat those things that you did when you were dating. You didn’t date to marry, you should have married to date. It follows Biblical principles that we marry to date, instead of what the culture dictates (that we date to marry). Stop waiting on your mate to plan the dinner date. You plan it. Give him knowledge of what pleases you. Keep the fire in your marriage by continuing to date, even with kids still at home. Empty-nesters (those who’s children are out of the home) still need to schedule time away. You have to make a plan, it won’t happen by osmosis. Husbands should see their wives as a gift that God has given them. Use their wife’s uniqueness and gifts as an advantage to your life and ministry.”I asked, what are some important things for first ladies and all wives to know about praying over their husbands and children?
“When you don’t know what to pray about, just pray. The Lord understands our utterings and groanings. Pray without ceasing. Seek God’s grace for everything you do. There are religious groups who don’t even know the true God, but they pray three times a day. We should have an attitude of prayer all day. Prayer is the oxygen we need. We need to STOP and pray. Prayer changes things.”Drs. Tony and Lois Evans believe so strongly in mentorship, that their Church, Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship (Dallas, TX) is involved with 65 schools; mentoring, tutoring and providing family support. Dr. Tony meets with local school Principals, once a month for prayer and counseling. They are involved with the National Church Adopt-A-School Initiative (visit www.tonyevans.org/pta for more info).In addition to the book Seasons of a Woman’s Life, Dr. Lois Evans has another book. It’s called, Stones of Remembrance.
Dr. Lois Evans is available for speaking engagements. She serves in the office of the Senior Pastor at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship Church, National Religious Broadcasters Board, Dallas Baptist University Woman's Auxiliary Board, Dallas Mavericks Board, and The Urban Alternative Board of Directors. In addition, she is a member of Leadership Southwest, sponsored by the Oak Cliff Chamber of Commerce and served on the Board of the Christian Management Association. Also, she served as the first president of the Global Pastors’ Wives Network and is founder of The First Lady Ministry. For more on Dr. Lois Evans, please visit www.loisevans.org END
Shares tried-and-proven wisdom on marriage, finding a mate and raising great children!
Dr. Lois Evans
Wife of Dr. Tony Evans
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